Is anyone else feeling the pressure and panic of Christmas and trying to get organised before the kids break up? We aren’t hosting Christmas but I certainly feel I have a lot to accomplish before the official holiday season commences (i.e. end of term!) Audrey, a life coach from Audrey Wiggin Associates is giving us some pointers today. So much practical advice. I am going to print this post out and devour it! She runs group courses for female business owners from her home in Fulham, the next one starting in January, so if you found this post helpful, email her to find out more!
Take it away Audrey!
Do you feel your body tensing and a wave of panic rising over you every time someone helpfully reminds us how many sleeps till Christmas? Choose a) Head in Sand and hope the problem goes away or b) Plan ahead and relish how delicious smug pie is going to taste the week before Christmas.
As a coach, I get asked about time management, planning and organisational skills all the time. Christmas is probably the finest test of these put together, with the ingredients for a perfect storm of stress. But it doesn’t have to be….
1. Work out what’s important to you.
Time, Energy and Cash are Finite Resources.
You can’t do everything. Much as we can aspire to be domestic Christmas Goddesses, you must focus on what’s important to you. I love food, so what I feed my family on Christmas day really matters. But when it comes to aesthetics, for me, that’s lower down on the list.
Don’t get me wrong, I would love my table to look like the one in the White Company
Catalogue, but I neither have the skill nor the time, and I just don’t care!
** ACTION
Draw up a list of tasks and work out what you can do, what someone else can do, what just needs to be “good enough” and which ones you can drop (in my case, that’s Christmas cards – sorry!)
2. What can be done in advance and when?
Once you have ascertained the list of priorities, you now need to work out what you can do in advance, and the earlier the better. For example – can you make the pudding for the Boxing Day gathering now and freeze it? Can you place your order for your Christmas tree to be delivered (I highly recommend Kirkland Garden Services who will deliver your tree in SW London).
Can you buy the crackers now whilst the shops have plenty left in stock? Do any job you can now in the wonderful peace of November, and you’ll start to sense that very slight smug feeling, which feels oh so good!
** ACTION
Work out a timeline for your tasks and get started on as many as possible.
3. Presents – who, what, how?
When it comes to presents, the same rule applies. What can you do now? I ask my relatives and godchildren what they want, and the smart ones write back with a list or even better, a web link! It saves me a huge amount of time and I know I am spending my money on something they want. I know it sounds obvious, but if you know what you’re buying, you can do it all from your armchair.
There is no need to battle the traffic, weather and crowds and drag yourself round the shops. Those are the people who are aimlessly wandering around searching for the perfect gift. Forget it. Know what you want and do it on the ipad.
Feeling slightly smugger still?
** ACTION
Work out a plan of what you’re buying for who. Ask them for ideas if necessary.
Shop online wherever possible. (www.tlmedit.com is a good place to start!)
4. Wrapping – seriously?
If you really do find yourself in a shop buying a present, please ask them to wrap it.
If you’ve bothered to slog out there, that’s got to be the minimum payoff. If you’re an online shopper, then either send presents wrapped by Amazon, or find some way to outsource your wrapping. My au pair has helped me on many an occasion, as has my young niece who always wants to earn a bit of cash. I can think of worse holiday jobs. Or if that idea abhors you, then wrap as you go. Don’t leave it till Christmas Eve. Wrap, label, bag it up / post now.
Oh – and buy tons of wrapping paper and Sellotape, more than you think you could possibly need, as running out is the most tedious thing in the world. Get it on your online supermarket shop this week, and then you know it’s done.
** ACTION
Wrap as you go, or outsource. Buy wrapping and tape now.
5. What else can you delegate or drop?
Delegate as much as you can. Don’t be afraid to ask a relative to bring some part of the meal. My gorgeous sister in law always brings the roast potatoes and vegetables on Christmas day, as part of her contribution. Delegate errands to teenage neighbours for cash and get your own kids in on the act too depending on their age obviously. (I know sometimes that can be more work than help!)
** ACTION
Decide what can be delegated, to who and when. Build mental address book of youngsters who might want to earn some cash in the holidays.
6. God created circles so corners could be cut….
Get out of this “I must be a domestic Goddess” mindset and reckon on being “good enough”.
Cut every corner you can. This goes back to priorities. Focus your time on where you really care, and cut corners where you don’t. I must admit my table would not win any prizes from the judges at Lakeland, but its festive enough with heaps of candles, some holly, and a pretty tablecloth that comes out once a year. One of my girlfriends has her Christmas lunch from “Cook”.
I wrap stocking presents in newspaper and Amazon brown packing paper saved from parcels delivered – it’s not glamorous, but the kids don’t complain as it’s what’s inside that they’re really interested in.
One friend uses Aunt Bessie frozen roast potatoes, another buys ready-made gravy from Marks and Spencer’s. Corners are there to be cut! I guarantee your family would rather have you in the room opening presents and enjoying Christmas, than sweating away in the kitchen missing all the fun and laughter.
** ACTION
Work out your short cuts and don’t believe the lie that says, “you’re cheating”.
7. Don’t say yes to all the parties
When I asked my girlfriends what stressed them out about Christmas, interestingly many of them said it was all the parties and Christmas drinks, both for work and home.
Firstly – don’t say yes to everything. Be selective and realistic. If you go out every single night, you are going to get exhausted. Pace yourself. Likewise with alcohol intake. You can’t drink a boatload in the evening and then expect to operate on all cylinders the next day. Let alone do that every night.
Plan what you’re going to wear in advance, especially if that’s something you find stressful. Don’t leave it till 7.27pm with the taxi coming at 7.45pm, two children demanding stories, a long fingernail laddering your only new tights as you put them on, and then realise you haven’t got a bottle or gift to take with you…. Sound familiar?
** ACTION
Work out which parties you want to go to, and send a fast and polite decline to those you don’t.
8. How to stay on speaking terms with your rellies
Relatives – we all have them, we love most of them… but smaller doses can work better. I know some travel from a long way, so overnight stays are often involved, but think about how long is an optimum amount of time to spend together such that you still love them when they leave.
My brother said that he loves coming to our house for Christmas day, with our little kids running around like maniacs, but he also really enjoys waving goodbye after tea and going home with his teenage children to slob out in the front of the telly on Christmas day evening. Funnily enough, I feel the same. Happy days!
** ACTION
Set firm boundaries with relatives
9. What about work?
I haven’t mentioned work – a blog post in its own right. For those of you in full time employment, Christmas brings its own string of deadlines, Christmas parties, drunk bosses and the rest. If you’re running your own business, there are clients to look after, year-end targets to hit, 2018 agendas to be implementing.
** ACTION
The advice is the same – plan, delegate, postpone and be realistic.
10. Self-preservation
This needs a higher place up your list of priorities.
Look after yourself. As the Mum, if you go down, the whole ship goes down. So somewhere in all this, there needs to be a bit of self-care. Mums are notoriously bad at putting themselves first, so why not diarise a facial or something you find relaxing where you’ve paid in advance and have to turn up.
If you put “gym” in your diary, you’ll cancel that for some other pressing engagement. If that sounds too energetic or expensive, then a simple walk can work wonders. Even a walk round the block and a coffee for twenty minutes can restore your sanity. Sleep is the other thing – easier said than done but even if you only manage one early night per week, that’s going to help. Aim for seven hours wherever possible.
** ACTION
- Book a slot in your diary for something that’s just for you, and stick to it.
- Preferably pre-pay so that you’ll not be tempted to cancel. Regular walks wherever possible.
- Seven hours kip.
11. Your homework
I always like to set my coaching clients homework, so if you’ve read this far, your homework is to write a list of Chrimble tasks and a time line of action points. Ascertain how much can be done in November, and use Google alerts to remind you of things that you need to do over the coming weeks. Your ultimate challenge is to get to Christmas Eve feeling like the prep is all done, and now it’s time to enjoy yourself.
There are no prizes for martyr mothers, so get planning, delegating and remember, “good enough” rocks.
www.audreywiggin.com
