Family Life Archives | Page 5 of 11

Family Life

London vs Country

Yesterday I was listening to a (London) radio station. The interviewer was saying that she thinks everyone lies about liking living out of London. The interviewee exclaimed ‘they say that it’s great for the kids, breathing in the country air. I say how boring for them!’ and they both cackled with raucous laughter. I could almost visualise their black hats and broomsticks as they rolled around the studio mocking country folk.

It actually really pxxxxd me off. I thought how judgemental and small-minded. But then it was a London radio station so they are entitled to talk up their own book I suppose.

Perhaps they have never had that countryside itch that so many of my pals and I have discussed over the past few years in-between breast-feeding and prosecco and 5pm.

Perhaps they are just staunch Londoners.

I have great respect for people who are unwavering.

I never was. I always knew we would move at some point.

But never thought it would be so soon….

When the kids are 9, 7 and 5. They have to all be at out of nappies, buggy’s and preferably at school.

We have done it 2 years earlier than planned.

In the summer holidays, there were a few changes of events in our circumstances and totally spontaneously and quickly even for those with ADD, we rented our house out, found 3 places at the local prep school and moved out to a house in Hampshire.

We KNEW we would move out one day, but not for a few more years. But life had other plans and we saw an exit point a few years earlier than planned and went with it.

Every door we pushed, opened and it just felt right.

Why didn’t you ‘announce’ it on The London Mummy?

Ummm, because who really cares? I thought it was a bit too much, to go ‘da naaaaaa’. Also, I wanted to get my own head around it first!

So, what about The London Mummy?

If I was given a quid for every time someone asked me what I would do with The London Mummy, I would be able to buy a new Mac.

It is a very normal question to ask someone. Perhaps I was a bit defensive as it started to grate on me and I almost felt like a few wanted it to fail outside the confines of London. It reminded me of being told ‘I bet you want a girl’ when I was pregnant with my 3rd. (You can read about that here).

So here is my answer to that question…

I have never planned what the next chapter is for The London Mummy. From the off set when I set it up to shout about friends small businesses I never thought that people other than friends would read it. Then I added a few other categories. Then product reviews. Gift guides. Travel. Interiors. Then a directory and now my little shop.

None of this was planned. All of this is enough for meat the moment, but I have no idea what’s around the corner.

I really want to continue writing TLM and will just see where it takes me as I always have done. I was a London mum and am now a London mum bringing up her kids in the countryside. I have very intention of keeping my finger on the pulse of what’s going down in London town (!) so for the time being it will be predominantly London focused.

On an aside – I am loving doing my fashion posts and these seem to be the most popular style so that may increase… Don’t you think I dress my daughter well? ha

And only an hour from London, I can whizz up and back if I have a meeting or an event or want to catch up with some friends. Knowing it (London) will always be there is the most cathartic aspect about moving out. I don’t miss it as it as I know it will always be there.

Is it misleading? If people worry that I am misleading them, I am flattered they have taken the time to think about it!!!

So what’s it like living out of London?

Da daaaaaa. We have only been here a few weeks and it hasn’t been reality as we have been unpacking, settling, exploring etc but so far so good.

Apparently the winter is the magnitude of ‘what you have done’ sets in, but I don’t suffer from SAD so not too worried about it!

I was going to write disadvantages and advantages but it is not as cut and dry as that. Each to their own, whatever works for each family. Lots of people are worried about amenities and friends but I think that is small fry – you make friends and can find coffee pretty much anywhere in the country.

It’s the commute. That’s what I hear most of the time. I have no experience of that yet but will let you know when I do!

So, here a few things.

I have to drive to get a coffee rather than walk, but I don’t get stuck in traffic like I used to so that’s a joy.

I don’t bump into friends out and about but that’s ok. The car park is rammed with lovely people at pick up and drop off anyway!

The light is something else – you can actually see the whole sky which I never could from my garden in London.

It is very very quiet but I am sure that’s good for the soul. I definitely more peaceful in da country than I did in the big smoke. Must be the sheep that I see each morning!

There is also something about being able to pick your own fruit!

I don’t have neighbours if I were to scream in the middle of the night but I feel safer as not even the postman can find our house, so I doubt anyone else would!

We have to drive everywhere but we don’t have to leave the house at the crack of dawn we used to as the kids aren’t climbing up the walls.

I may not be being stimulated at every corner by unusual clothes and magnificent monuments but trust me, lots of the mums are up to London standards – if not more!

Life After London is a great website set up by Bee Aspinal for those that are investigating different areas.

I also recommend the following search agents –

Hart & Vine – Tonbridge/Sevenoaks

No Place Like Home – Home Counties

Property Potential – Surrey

Also, if you are renting out your property in London and want someone (excellent) to manage it – head to A & L Property Solutions.

Let me know if you have any others to recommend!

Whatever you do, don’t worry about your life being over when you leave London – it has only just begun (joke)

Oh but, one thing that is killing me that makes meant to drive up the M4 after drop EVERY DAY is the wifi or the lack of it. It comes and goes like an errant teenager and it is giving me a stress headache. This post has taken me all day to do on and off and means I have to go and tidy or cook – heaven forbid!

Of anyone has hints and tips for what we could do, please let me know – I wouldn’t want it slow TLM down!! x

0 Comments

Family Life

How To Find and Keep a Good Au Pair

This post has been on the tip of my tongue for so long. Having had 6 au pairs in 8 years, I now what I like and think I know what to look for. We pioneered the way amongst our contemporaries with having the first au pair as we wanted help with dog walking and babysitting and the economics of it made sense. Our first Au Pair Tati was so lovely it set a trend for lots of my pals to try one too. Most became hooked but for a few, it wasn’t for them. One thing I can tell you though, is that whilst I was in the thick of pregnancy, babies, toddlers and tantrums I am so pleased I had that extra pair of hands…

I must admit that it hasn’t all been plain sailing. Pregnant with number 3 I made some bleary eyed rash decisions and failed to notice that a girl WASN’T that enthusiastic (I thought it was a language barrier) but all was confirmed after a slow start when I returned home and she was gone. It has happened to the best of us. Do not judge! I was kind and patient but she was missing her boyfriend.

This bring me to my first point of many when thinking about what to ask when you are interviewing. It is imperative to discuss these things upfront so there are no surprises.

BOYFRIEND

We had some with boyfriends and some without. The former didn’t stay as long and were more focussed on coming over, concentrating on their English and heading back home. Those without were more open to seeing what happened. If what was happening was going well, they were more likely to stay.

LENGTH OF STAY

The normal length for an au pair to stay is a year however many prefer 10 months – arriving in September and leaving in June JUST BEOFRE THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS. If you have young kids who aren’t old enough for clubs, I would definitely confirm that they are happy to stay over this period of time.

HOLIDAYS

Also, say in advance your general holiday pattern and suggest that it makes sense if at all possible for them to take their holidays at the same time. Any reasonable girl will see this makes sense.

CONTACTS

It is really nice if they know a couple of people in London but I would be concerned if they knew loads as it might mean they are just here to socialise (which of course is fine but you don’t want a tired au pair midweek)

TOWN OR COUNTRY

One of the questions we asked when we were interviewing was ‘where would you like to ideally be an au pair?’ When they immediately said ‘only London’ it is worth delving to see whether they want to be an au pair or just come to London…

CHILDREN

How much experience do they really have with children? Don’t know about you, but before I had kids I would have been a terrible au pair. (I still would) Unless they have looked after children sole charge and had experience working in schools or camps, I would think twice about whether they are right for your family – especially if you have more than one or they are particularly wild (like mine – I needed someone who wasn’t phased!)

So, you like them. You have a good feeling. They are smiley. Respond to emails. Are good communicators. You have had a couple of good references. They were keen to see your children on Skype. They haven’t asked about money yet.

It’s time to ask if they would like to join your family as an au pair!

It is important to remember, they are joining your family rather than being employed by your family (although obviously you pay them). They probably don’t want to have dinner with you and your husband but generally we started each season of au pair by suggesting 1 meal a week with them.

Ask them about their family, their life, their culture. It is so interesting getting a different take and also so good for your children to hear.

Be Kind

THE KINDER YOU ARE AND THE MORE YOU APPRECIATE THEM, THEY QUICKER THEY WILL BLOSSOM.

Buy them the odd bunch of flowers or bar of chocolate.
Always pay them back for the bus or the bread they picked up.
Respect them.
Say please and thank you.
Encourage them.
Leave them to it. Children are MUCH nicer and easier to manage when you aren’t there.
Don’t always take the good jobs and leave them the crummy jobs. Let them take Timmy to the party. Let them take Jane to the cinema. You stay home with the drunk toddler this time.
Send them home with traditional English presents for their parents.
I always had a thing about them crossing the road. Rather than saying ‘be careful when you cross the road’ I said ‘I am so wary of how I cross the road as the cars come in all different directions.’ It is not manipulative it is tactful.
Once they have settled, let them discipline. If they have done their time, they have learnt it.
Don’t take liberties and take advantage of their willingness to babysit. Pay them extra.
Don’t make them work bank Holiday Mondays unless you give them a day off in lieu. It isn’t fair. If they join at the beginning of May before 2 bank holidays, lump it – it isn’t their fault!

Now the kids are slightly older and we have moved, we are forgoing an au pair and swapping it for a few extra hours cleaning instead. The one advantage is I will have to take charge again. There is no sloping off when they kick off and I realise my au pair has more patience to deal with it than me.

I am worried if any curve ball like a party invitation comes our way, but for the time being I am enjoying us all being together all the time. (Famous last words?) and when enough is enough, I will call on my gorgeous most recent one, Ara, to come and stay with us for the weekend and give us some much needed respite!

If you are deliberating whether to get an au pair, you may find this previous post helpful too.

PS. I always found our au pairs on Au Pair World but my Directory has a great list of agencies I recommend.

0 Comments

Family Life

8 Stereotypical School Gate Mums

So, we have been away from the school gates for a few weeks now. Whether you are moving up a year (notice I say ‘you’) or changing schools, it is nice to have to some time away from the routine. I have been meaning to do a post on different types of school gate mums for a while. Although my oldest is only 7 – having done 3 different nurseries and 2 different schools in London in that time, I have experienced lots of types.

8 Different Types

‘Competitive’ Mum

Manages to shoes horn 2 year old little Timmy’s achievements into the first two minutes of seeing you on Monday morning. Wow, that is amazing that he can get into your bed without any help?’ you respond feigning enthusiasm.

She will also remind you about school events and what’s going on in the community. ‘Oh didn’t you know’ but despite being a busy body, she would never volunteer to be class rep. Farrrrr too busy for that!

‘Knows Everyone’ Mum

She smiles at everyone and knows most people’s names. Chats to the care takers, has inner jokes and is on first name terms with the teachers. This is because she is on her 4th kid at the school and it is literally a second home.

Don’t ask her a question about uniform or homework though.

She will just laugh at you.

‘Hectic.com’ Mum

Usually upbeat as she is juggling her wild children but can lose it in a moments notice so best to avoid eye contact when you see the red mist descending.

Chucks wotsits at her kids in the vain hope that this will shut them up but once the playground has emptied she notices that they are littered all over the ground.

Pretends it was nothing to do with her.

‘Cool as a Cucumber’ Mum

Usually a mother of daughters, she can wear expensive sunglasses as she knows that they won’t get knocked off with a straying ball.

She brings homemade snacks with her (involving oats) and never breaks a sweat or loses her cool.

‘Staunch Wingwoman’ Mum

The one you migrate to when there are a sea of mums and you just need to stand and not make that inevitable light conversation.

Your saving grace.

You don’t mind when their kids hoover all your snacks you have saved for your oldest.

If you don’t have one or two of these, beg borrow or steel.

Or be like ‘Knows Everyone’ Mum so you give yourself a chance.

‘Clique’ Mum

Every school has them at the gate or in the playground (or worse at a class party!)

No matter how much they smile and greet you, they give you the shivers as you know when your back is turned they are probably discussing some aspect of you or other mothers.

They can’t stand on their own and if they are and strike up conversation with you, hold it lightly because as soon as their besties are there it will be see ya later!

‘Serious Job’ Mum

Usually the nicest mum in the playground who is over compensating for all the times she isn’t there.

She doesn’t have a kitchen table job (guilty)

She is full-time and no messing.

Friendly, kind and always keen to organise a play date.

‘Potential Bestie’ Mum

You admire her from afar, you share the same sense of humour when you do briefly chat.

However, your paths don’t cross so you just have to pray that when the classes are mixed next year that your kids will be in the same class.

What type are you and have I missed type? I am a mixture of 1 and 2 but how I dream to be like number 3.

Dropping 3 kids at the same time which is what I will do be doing next term, means that dream is looking doubtful!!

www.thelondonmummy.com

@thelondonmummy

4 Comments

Activities Family Life

12 Tips For a Smooth Transition into the School Holidays

Whether the holidays have started or about to commence, the transition is harder for us than the children. Whilst excitement may be running high before they break up, after a few lazy mornings and a bit of spontaneous fun, once the novelty wears off and the reality of it being like this for the next 6-8 weeks – we could all do with a bit of advice for a smooth transition.

Livvy Gormally is a Children’s Behaviour Expert and Parent Coach, mum of 3 and the founder of Let’s Ask Livvy. She offers personalised and child specific advice, skills and support to enabling parents to cope with their everyday parenting challenges. From tantrums to fussy eating, separation anxiety to anger management, Livvy has over 20 years experience as a behaviour specialist.

1. Going from term time to holiday time can be tricky- tired school weary kids are not as tolerant, may be quicker to get moody or squabble. So bear this in mind when planning activities for the first few days.

2. Also be kind to yourselves-tired life weary parents are also not as tolerant, may be quicker to get moody or squabble. So bear this in mind too when planning activities for the first few days.

3. Be realistic with your expectations- if your kids find it hard to play together after school, then it is unrealistic to expect them to play harmoniously all day during the holidays. Different aged kids access toys, games and free time in different ways so try to plan activities which are appropriate to their ages, interests and abilities to keep things running smoothly.

4. During holiday times some parents say they feel a pressure to fill the days with adventure-but this is often not what their kids want or need- sometimes kids just need to chill- so enjoy the odd pyjama day, say no to some activities or play dates and make sure your kids have time to rest and regenerate- rested kids are happier kids.

5. Always be mindful of what makes your family tick- as a mum of 3, 2 of whom are like energiser bunnies, they find chilling very hard and actually relax more when they have had a burst of activity- finding the balance for your kids is key.

6. When the holidays start the kids don’t always realise that “holidays” don’t really exist for parents- the expectation to stop everything versus the pressure of mounting jobs can be huge on parents, we all try to be master jugglers but try to be realistic with your time, the jobs that can’t wait, what you can fit into the day and the expectations of the whole family.

7. For many of us, the holidays means freedom and lack of time pressures, but switching from term time routines to holiday routine can be a challenge. Knowing what makes your family tick is important, if your family works better with routine the holidays will work better with a bit more structure. If your kids get “hangry” and need regular food to avoid mood swings, then your days will be easier if you keep to regular mealtimes.

8. Play to the strengths of your family- If your kids don’t function well when tired, accumulated late nights will have a negative effect on the whole family. This is not to say you can’t enjoy cinema night, or some meals out on holiday, it just means you have to be prepared and know that a siesta or and early night might be needed the next day to get everyone back on track.

9. Holidays tend to be more relaxed but try to avoid shifting boundaries. I recommend setting some clear holidays guidelines at the beginning of the holidays. Guidelines are most effective when they reflect your core values- this way it shouldn’t matter where you are or what you are doing- the things that are important to you as a family travel with you. For many of us extra treats, saying yes to things that would usually be a no, are what makes holidays fun- but they can also have a considerable impact on behaviour. If your reason for saying no to ice-cream on a normal day is because too much ice-cream has a negative effect on behaviour- you are not being mean if you say no when on holiday. Saying yes and veering too far from what makes your family tick may bring short term happiness, but remember the long game!

10. Whether it’s a trip abroad or a weekend with friends’ travel can be hugely stressful for parents and kids. Again, keep an eye on your expectations. If your kids argue on the school run it would be unrealistic to think that they can play happily in the car for hours on end or in the confined space of a plane. Think about where they sit, if you have the room to space them out a little a few inches can make all the difference! Try to be prepared, car games can be fun but often need adult involvement to keep them fun and fluid and often to mediate. If your kids are competitive remember that competitive games need more refereeing. Think about the timings of travel and how this might impact the kids and remember that even the best laid travel plans can go wrong so be prepared with extra snacks and activities and use technology if that works for you.

11. If you want to limit screen time, limit it to the times when you need the kids to have it- such as the end of a journey when everyone is tired and bored, you’re a tiny bit lost, and you can’t face game number 200 of eye-spy. Toddler Fun Learning has created a great app for younger kids, it has fun educational content and the bonus feature of a timer function that allows you to set how much screen time you want the kids to have. The timer goes off, the app sings a goodbye song and screen time finishes- very handy for reducing the all too common “just one more minute” debates.

12. Rewards and praising the positives-don’t assume that holidays are fun for all kids. Some children find it really challenging to occupy their time without direction or adult support. Some kids need to learn how to play and occupy themselves. So make sure to have realistic age appropriate expectations and to praise them when they are playing nicely or occupying their time positively.

13. Be careful of the “no/don’t” cycle. Try to praise and give attention to the behaviours you want to see more of and think about how your praise is delivered. For example – if rewarding nice playing- “well done for playing nicely” will encourage more positive behaviour change and delivers a more positive message than “well done for not fighting.” Of “if you play nicely now you can watch a little TV later” delivers a more positive message and elicits more positive behaviour change than “if you don’t fight for 10 mins you can watch a little TV”.

Sounds simple enough – let’s see if we can remember this in the heat of the moment! Happy holidays all xx

To contact Livvy or to for more advice, check out her website Let’s Ask Livvy.

0 Comments

Activities Days Out Family Life

How To Have a Successful Family Picnic

This post is written in collaboration with John Lewis and contains affiliate links!

Prepare to fail, fail to prepare. I have recited this motto since Common Entrance exams however as I get older and a bit more relaxed, it sometimes slips. This was particularly true on Sunday when all the family went to watch Alex in a cricket match at Highclere Castle. I was so focused on getting there on time, I completely failed to prepare anything substantial for the kids picnic. (Obviously I was alright as I knew the adults were catered for. Bad mum points!)

I was particularly shown up by the lovely Mopie who runs Spare My Time, who literally arrived with everything bar the kitchen sink. Sun cream, hand made sandwiches, snacks, fully charged iPad (ours doesn’t last longer than the car journey itself) to name a few. So I observed closely at her happy, hydrated, sated kids and made a few notes to what makes a successful family picnic.

Water. Lots of it. Sistema Twist n’ Sip bottles are great as they don’t leak. It is quite hard to find a proper non leaking water bottle, but these fit the bill and they come in three bright colours – blue, pink and green and two sizes. Why not put a bit of lemon and cucumber in the bottle, fill them with water and freeze them the night before!

Tupperware that holds the food together. In compartments. Nothing worse than sandwiches where the top half slides off! Sistema lunch tub is perfect. Wraps are always a winner with little ones, especially cream cheese and ham or chic spread and banana. Yummy. Anything chopped small works a treat too – mine are into dried apricots at the moment. I think they think they are sweets! If only they knew…

One thing that is imperative not to forget is your picnic rug. It has to be waterproof underneath and dark is always a good idea when kids are around. This simple navy one is a staple.

One thing is a picnic blanket, the other thing is an outdoor rug if you really want to up the ante! I love this navy blue outdoor rug. Tres Chic.

This is brilliant. I haven’t seen it before but such a good idea as how do you eat if you have a glass in your fork hand! Party plates – on my hit list! Plastic wine glasses to go with them too… Try and make sticky food that doesn’t roll off the plate. Potato salad is much easier to eat than new potatoes and coronation chicken is easier than a chicken thigh as you can just use a fork. Chop your salad into bite size pieces too!

I am a huge fan of melamine. The kids use it at home. It looks good and doesn’t break if hurled across the kitchen. (Obv that never happens…) Keeping with calming blue theme – I love this Eddingtons set of plates and tumblers

I love something that can double up as something else and this is one of the best I have seen in a while. A Cooler Box that you can use as cricket stumps so all you need to remember is your bat and ball! Pack it with ice to keep everything cool and also great if someone gets a bump on the head. Don’t forget a tea towel!

And how to transport it all? This Tote Cooler Bag is pretty stylish and will keep everything cool.

Obviously, the most frequently forgotten item is a bottle opener. You won’t forget this bright blue bird!

If you want to kit your family out for the summer and get organised so you arent running round like a headless chicken, head to John Lewis as it has all you need for picnics and barbecues. Jon’t forget the sun cream and the waterproof trousers. It is a British summer after all! xx

0 Comments

Family Life Products

The Newest Member of The Family

No, we are not having another one and we aren’t getting another pet for a long time so apologies if the title is slightly ‘click baity!’ However, there is a new addition that our youngest acquired for her 3rd birthday that is like a new member as it goes EVERYWHERE with her.

She takes it to nursery. I push it back (like a loopy woman with a pretend baby) then I push it back at pick up.

Then a quick walk to the river. In the garden. On a playdate. She has tried to take it upstairs but that has prooved too tricky. Luckily!

So this pushchair, as you can see, is a great success.

Not all children are into prams but this one has been into dolls and real babies since she move her hands to grab them, so we knew the order of the day was a nice pushchair that she could use for a while.

I had a Spanish one when I was little (sage green) and used it until I was about 10. Lucy my dolly even made a guest appearance at my wedding, much to everyones horror as they thought I was opening up a wrapped REAL baby.

Anyway, I diversify. This is the important bit.

You can either go for the Pram or the Pushchair.

Pushchair

Technical characteristics :

• Baby pink napa leather and lining handmade pushchair
• Folding hood in baby pink nappa leather and interior in floral
fabric.
• Seat with reclining back in pink baby nappa leather and lining
• Sides adorned with two grosgrain bows.
• Positionable footrest with serigraph.
• Handle height: 78 cms.
• Chrome – plated wheels with a diameter of 210 mm and folding
chrome iron chassis.
• Weight: 6 kg

Accessories that can be included :

• Chrome tray
• Baby pink pique fabric bag with satin bows
• Baby pink pique fabric liner and parasol
• Rain cover with baby pink bordered

Pram

Technical characteristics :

• Handlebar height: 95 cm
• 290 mm chrome spoke wheels
• 16 chrome folding round tube chassis
• Antique cameo with floral motif on both sides of the carrycot
• Baby pink nappa leather hood and apron
• Interior hood fabric with floral motif
• Pink patent leather carrycot
• Zippered handle cover
• Includes pink fabric mattress
• Suspension: connecting rod for rolling effect.
• Weight: 9 kg

Accessories that can be included:

• Chrome tray
• Bebelux logo pink patent leather shoulder bag
• Baby pink pique bedding set and parasol
• Rain cover with baby pink bordered
• Padded baby doll backrest in baby pink

And when it all gets a bit too much, she can sit in it and I can push her!!!

See the collection of Spanish Dolls Prams. Prices start at £240

We were very kindly given this product to review but all opinions are my own (and my daughters).

0 Comments

Family Life

Having a Baby?

A friend who is having her first baby asked me what she should pack in her hospital bag. I really enjoyed thinking about what I packed (and didn’t pack) and also got so carried away, I also wrote a list of what you need before baby arrives and top tips post labour. This is all my opinion (and no brands are sponsoring this post!) so I am sure there are some things you will disagree on but hope you will take away some top tips!

Necessary Items Before Baby Arrives

There is so much paraphanlia on the market and especially if it is your pfb ‘precious first born’ it is easy to get sucked in and think you need everything. In hindsight I wish I had bought when I needed rather than ‘just in case’. So what do you actually need?

Newborn Nappies
3 vests
3 baby grows
A Moses Basket. The Baby Cot Shop is gorgeous to indulge your wishes. But if they are above your budget (!), Mothercare is a good bet.
A couple of sheets. Willa and The Bear fitted sheets are BEAUTIFUL.

A swaddle

These Muslin Blankets are so beautiful and super versatile. Swaddle, Shroud (over buggy if you want them to sleep) etc

A car seat
A snowsuit if winter or cardigan if summer.
A pram.

I am going to expand on the last one.

People think it is tempting fate to look into the future and buy something under the proviso that you may have another kid and need a double buggy. I don’t believe in superstition, so I would say do it. I had a Bugaboo that took me through all 3 babies but in hindsight I would have loved an Icandy that you can chop and change adding chairs, basinets so you could push two kids of different ages and not have to buy a double buggy further down the line.

If you are superstitious and want to buy just for now. Get a Maclaren Techno XLR. You will end up buy a Maclaren for ease of throwing it in the back of the car so why not buy it from the offset and just have 1 buggy. This will take you from newborn to lazy pre schooler who still likes the odd buggy ride. Trust me! I love my Mclazza.

Not essential, but I wish this was around 6 years ago. The Cuddledry Baby Bath Towel keeps you dry and enables you to bath baby hands free!

If you want to get a breast pump, I liked Medela but you can also hire industrial ones from the hospital.

What To Pack In Your Hospital Bag

Chocolate Brownies
A friend made me a batch before I went into hospital (I know, how nice is that) and after labour I pretty much devoured the whole lot. If you don’t have a baking pal, Sugarella brownies are unbeatable.

Present for Midwife

The love you have for your midwife after little Timmy pops out is like no other. High on serotonin she is your best friend and you can imagine going out for a glass of wine. But you won’t. So give her a present instead. I think a Love Story Candle from Tussie Mussie would be a lovely present.

Hair Ties

Imperative you don’t forget them if you have long hair. I love these ones!

Big Pants

Size up. Actually go two sizes up. Head to M and S and get the biggest granny bashers you can find. 100% Cotton. In BLACK!

Sanitary Pads

As above. Huge ones. Lots of them! Buy more than you think you need.

Nappy Bags

For the above.

Paracetamol

I get the nervous giggles when I think about the pure pain of your uterus shrinking back down size in the aftermath of labour. Excruciating. Especially when you are breast feeding. Take Paracetamol as soon as you feel it it coming on!!

Charger

Easily forgotten. Pain in the butt if you forget it.

Bottles of Water

Buy more bottles of water than you think. I have never had such a dry mouth. Get a sports bottle size that you or your partner can squeeze into your mouth when you are on your back.

Elasticated Loose Trousers or Long Skirt

Whether you can fit into your pre baby jeans the next day or not (not) wear soft stretchy bottoms. I found a long skirt was perfect, especially to disguise said ‘big pants’.

Soap, Moisturiser, Toothbrush, Dressing Gown, Flip Flops.

That shower is the best shower you will have ever had. Don’t ruin the experience by forgetting the above.

What Does Baby Need?

Babygrows

I bought ‘newborn’ baby grows and they were two small, so I would take a newborn and a ‘up to 3 months’ baby grow. Crane Bump Baby sell adorable ones if you want something a bit different.

Newborn Nappies

I forgot these once and it was unbelievable how hard it was to get the hospital to give me a couple!

Blanket or Muslin.

I adore this from The Little Art Collection.

Maxi Cosi

So many car seats out there but we have used a Maxi Cosi Familyfix for all 3. So you have a base and you change the seat on the base as the kiddies grow.

Cotton Wool

I am not a fan of even water based wipes on a newborn and think cotton wool and water is the way forward until they are atlas 6 weeks. That tiny little soft bum. Make sure you dry it before you put the nappy back on (and don’t let them hang in a wet nappy for too long) to avoid nappy rash. If they start to get it, get fresh air onto it.

What Happens When You Get Home?

Pre natal classes are great for telling you how to get the baby out, but not quite so hot on what to do once you get your baby home.

(If you are looking for an ante natal class, I hear fantastic things about Lulubaby.)

I remember coming home with my first asleep in his car seat and saying to my husband ‘So what do you think we should do? Wake him? Feed him?’

Oh, we wonder why the first ones are so ‘first bornish!’ #pander.com

Leave them! They will wake when they are hungry. The tears will trigger let down (when your boobs do tingly and the milk comes in) then attach them (literally try and put the whole of your boob in their mouth – you won’t suffocate them – you do not want them just sucking on your nipple. Then frequency frequency frequency. To establish the milk you need to tell your brain to keep on producing and by feeding, this does it. And so on.

Ann Dobson is the lady to call if you are having problems.

Anyway, I found breastfeeding so so so hard, so persevere but don’t worry if you think formula would be better. We used Aptimel. It will def help you all get a bit more sleep!

Visitors

I actually found visitors who literally popped to say hi unannounced much easier than a planned visit. Atleast with a spontaneous visit, it doesn’t matter that you open the door still in your pjs. If its planned you are expected to be dressed, make tea etc. Anyway that was just me.

Don’t arrange visitors before 11am. You need the morning to go back to sleep.

Don’t arrange visitors ‘after work’. This is when witching hour is and everyone is tired. If yo have other children, you also have their bedtime as well as cluster feeding your newborn.

Day 3 Tears

I don’t know the science about the day 3 tears, but it def happened to me. Literally, the smallest think could make you cry. Be gentle on yourself. It is so normal.

Hormones

Speaking of which, ‘baby’ hormones stay in your body up to 12 months after. Looking back – with this and tiredness I can see I was prob a bit of a nightmare at times to people around (prob still am!) so tell them this and apologise in advance!

Oh and get an account for Deliveroo!

I am going to do a post on non essential items too and what you might need as they get past the newborn stage.

There are so many wonderful new baby & maternity products and clothes out there, so stay tuned. (Like And Breathe Post Natal – retreats to get away from it all where you can bring baby too!)

What tips do you have? I would love to hear your stories and please do forward this on to anyone who is having a bubba! xx

0 Comments

Family Life

17 Parenting Hacks For a More Enjoyable Life

At a family supper out the other night, there was a fleeting moment when all 3 of our kids were actually sitting and eating and not shouting or arguing with each other. The table next door had a toddler who was kicking off and a baby that wouldn’t go to sleep. They had so much paraphilia and it bought that stage all back and made me relieved we were ‘through’ that stage of life.

Fast forward to the next night and our kids were doing exactly opposite to what they were doing the night before – shouting, getting down and not eating anything.

The table next to us had older kids and they looked pretty sorted. I was heading down the ‘I can’t wait till they get to that age’ route until the mother whispered to me ‘with each stage there are different problems (in her instance back chat, friend problems, school pressure etc) so enjoy each stage, as it goes so quickly.’

She is so right! It made me think about all the other snippets of wisdom I have heard either from advice or through osmosis and thought I would share them with you. Take what you want, leave what you disagree with but I hope something will stick.

Don’t wish away the years. When they get to this age/out of this stage it will be easier. Each stage brings its own joy and struggle. Try to be content in each period of life.

Don’t judge what’s going on the inside by the outside. That first night when my kids were ‘good’ is not the norm at a family dinner, you just saw a snippet. You have no idea what it is really like, so don’t judge or presume.

Be a united front with your partner as much as humanly possible, even if you don’t agree with them at the time. Kids will play up if they get a sniff that one of their parents might even slightly on their side.

If kids are happy don’t move them. It’s all very well needing to be somewhere at a certain time but we all know as soon as there is a time pressure – kids kick off as they sense the stress.

Surround yourself with flexible people who don’t take offence. Now when someone cancels, I really don’t mind as I so understand everyone is busy and under pressure. However, I try now to live by…

Let your yes be yes and your no be no. I have learnt to wait a bit before replying to events and invitations so I can get an overview on my diary so I don’t over book ourselves.

Keep it simple. Don’t rush around pillar to post (note to self) only accept one invitation a weekend (in my view) especially as they get older and you have clubs and homework and the odd kids party, you need some simple family time not another event to head to!

Plan your day/routine and don’t be swayed or pressured by anyone else. Everyone wants to be part of where the fun is, but if you have planned on tea at a certain time, stick to it and join later.

Be consistent. Kids do love predictability and knowing what’s coming next. If you like a bit of adventure and want them to come, explain what you are doing before you do it.

Communicate. If we are going out for supper or to a friend’s house or a church service, we explain what we expect of them – polite, quiet etc and find that if you speak to them before, they usually get it and step up to the plate.

Respect different parenting styles. There is not one single family with exactly the same parenting mindset as you. There will be a few who are similar but ultimately just do what works for you and stick to it.

Learn the art of distraction as soon as you have a baby! I wish I knew this a few years ago. Distraction is the BEST way to curb a tantrum/tears/wobbly before it begins (applies to adults too!)

At the airport – shall we watch the planes take off.
In the park – shall we find a dog to plat with?
At a restaurant – which famous person would you like to see walk through the door?
And so on.

Don’t compare. Children develop at different rates and in different ways. Whilst little Timmy might be out of nappies at 2, he still hasn’t said his first work or Tilly can write her name in cursive at 4 but still has a bottle at night. Don’t worry, they all catch up on the main things and your child WILL be exceptional at something so don’t worry (even if you still haven’t discovered it yet)

Avoid mood hovers. Competitive parents can really be a pain, so just smile when they are showing off and trust your instinct that you are making the right decisions for your family.

Get some sleep. It’s one thing your kids being tired but if you are too, it’s game over. If they wake you in the night, go to bed earlier so you have had some good hours already.

Tag team. When my first was a baby, in our excitement we did everything together but now we have three it is much better to be properly ‘off duty’ for an hour then to resent having so much to do and not being able to do

Divide and conquer. No people won’t think you are having marital problems if they don’t see you together all the time. It is much easier splitting off with one or two children for a short time at the weekend

Plan some one on one time. My kids are so happy on their own with one parent (two parents together is the dream but not ever possible!) they have undivided attention which is ultimately what they want to feel loved and valued.

Do you have any top tips? It would be great to hear! x

0 Comments

Older Posts

Newer Posts