We all know that Christmas is a pressure cooker of emotions, routines and expectations. It is meant to be a happy time of year but it can end up being the most stressful. What’s most important is that you and your other half are on the same page because if you are united – children playing up, traffic jams and the fact you have forgotten the presents – will be all the more bearable if you aren’t at each others throat.
So, how to do that?
Plan
Planning isn’t sexy, but if you take time to plan in advance – it will pay dividends in the long run.
Decide who is doing what, what your timings are and who is in charge of what, before the holidays commence.
This is part of our check list that we will delegate between each of us –
- Wrapping
- Packing clothes
- Packing car
- In Car entertainment
- Route planning
- What we are doing each day (without zapping every last minute plan)
- Mealtimes
(I just made that up now, I don’t actually have a check list that I make us go through!)
Anyway, you get the picture.
It’s Not a Competition
You both work hard. You are both knackered. You both deserve a break. But remember, it is not a competition who is the most tired/over worked etc. Treat each other how you would like to be treated.
‘Are you ok?’
‘Would you like anything?’
‘Is there anything I can do for you?’
These are a few thoughtful questions that will make the other person feel valued and understood.
Remember, it is not a competition.
Divide and Conquer
When we first had kids, we did everything together at weekends. Now we have 3 it life is a bit more hectic.
It is sometimes more effective and peaceful to divide and conquer.
Why not factor in giving the other one total guilt free time off a couple of hours a day?
I am going to suggest 1 of us does breakfast (him!) we all have lunch together and 1 of us does kids tea (I opt for this ones so it can coincide it with a glass of wine!)
Get Some Rest
Each family has their achilles heel. For us it is tiredness. We know that we don’t function well if we have over cooked it or had a late night.
Once or twice during the silly season is a given – it would be rude not to let your hair down at Christmas, but otherwise we make sure we get a good nights sleep so we are on the best form possible for the next day.
Early drink, early bed!
Anything to keep Vivian emerging (my alter ego!)
Compromise
Are there things that you are pre-empting? Talk about them. This is one tiff that always arises which we have worked out how to overcome.
My husband likes sharing his food. I don’t. Especially when he wants my last mouthful. (Yes, i am greedy/selfish) Anyway, we have overcome this by compromise.
I will share my food at the beginning of my meal but heaven forbid he wants my last mouthful!
Lower Your Expectations
If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed.
Ok, this may seem like a negative way to live but in terms of presents, behaviour and the amount of alone time you want etc look at everything as a bonus rather than an expectation.
Chill out!
Family & OCD are not a good combinations. If you both have different standards, this can often be a bone of contention.
I know that my husband likes me to leave the bed made, curtains pulled, clothes put away if I leave the bedroom last and he is a bit irksome at kids mealtimes, so I want him to leave me to it. (hence why he will be doing the morning shift!)
But remember, don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s not worth it. Will you remember when you are 86?
Live In The Moment
These years when the kids are gone will be gone in the blink of an eye.
Live in the moment.
Enjoy it.
See the good on everything.
Make happy memories.
Put down the phone.
Don’t wish it away.
Love each other.
Keep your mouth shut.
Don’t react.
Be still & etch the joy on your kids faces this Christmas in your heart forever.
Have a very very happy Christmas
Love
Lucinda xxx
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