So, we have been away from the school gates for a few weeks now. Whether you are moving up a year (notice I say ‘you’) or changing schools, it is nice to have to some time away from the routine. I have been meaning to do a post on different types of school gate mums for a while. Although my oldest is only 7 – having done 3 different nurseries and 2 different schools in London in that time, I have experienced lots of types.
8 Different Types
Manages to shoes horn 2 year old little Timmy’s achievements into the first two minutes of seeing you on Monday morning. Wow, that is amazing that he can get into your bed without any help?’ you respond feigning enthusiasm.
She will also remind you about school events and what’s going on in the community. ‘Oh didn’t you know’ but despite being a busy body, she would never volunteer to be class rep. Farrrrr too busy for that!
‘Knows Everyone’ Mum
She smiles at everyone and knows most people’s names. Chats to the care takers, has inner jokes and is on first name terms with the teachers. This is because she is on her 4th kid at the school and it is literally a second home.
Don’t ask her a question about uniform or homework though.
She will just laugh at you.
Usually upbeat as she is juggling her wild children but can lose it in a moments notice so best to avoid eye contact when you see the red mist descending.
Chucks wotsits at her kids in the vain hope that this will shut them up but once the playground has emptied she notices that they are littered all over the ground.
Pretends it was nothing to do with her.
‘Cool as a Cucumber’ Mum
Usually a mother of daughters, she can wear expensive sunglasses as she knows that they won’t get knocked off with a straying ball.
She brings homemade snacks with her (involving oats) and never breaks a sweat or loses her cool.
‘Staunch Wingwoman’ Mum
The one you migrate to when there are a sea of mums and you just need to stand and not make that inevitable light conversation.
Your saving grace.
You don’t mind when their kids hoover all your snacks you have saved for your oldest.
If you don’t have one or two of these, beg borrow or steel.
Or be like ‘Knows Everyone’ Mum so you give yourself a chance.
Every school has them at the gate or in the playground (or worse at a class party!)
No matter how much they smile and greet you, they give you the shivers as you know when your back is turned they are probably discussing some aspect of you or other mothers.
They can’t stand on their own and if they are and strike up conversation with you, hold it lightly because as soon as their besties are there it will be see ya later!
‘Serious Job’ Mum
Usually the nicest mum in the playground who is over compensating for all the times she isn’t there.
She doesn’t have a kitchen table job (guilty)
She is full-time and no messing.
Friendly, kind and always keen to organise a play date.
‘Potential Bestie’ Mum
You admire her from afar, you share the same sense of humour when you do briefly chat.
However, your paths don’t cross so you just have to pray that when the classes are mixed next year that your kids will be in the same class.
What type are you and have I missed type? I am a mixture of 1 and 2 but how I dream to be like number 3.
Dropping 3 kids at the same time which is what I will do be doing next term, means that dream is looking doubtful!!